GABI: A Reflection On Ethiopian Birth, Care, and the Women Who Hold Us.
I messaged Adriel not too long ago, after coming across her work as a doula here in Amsterdam. I was drawn to the way she peaks about birth with such awe, her gentle approach, and the quiet strength and calm that radiated from the women in her world. It reminded me so much of GABI, not just the blanket, but the feeling. Of being wrapped. Held.
In Ethiopian culture, bringing a child into the world is a communal experience,
In Ethiopian culture, bringing a child into the world is a communal experience, shaped by the wisdom and support of many women. I sat down with three women in my community, two of my aunties, and my mother, to ask them what they remembered about birth. About being pregnant. About what the Gabi means in those moments.
Here’s what they said.
Pregnancy Is Sacred
Before the labour, before the steam, before the genfo (recipe will follow below), there is a quiet reverence that surrounds pregnancy itself.
In all three conversations, that thread came through clearly: pregnancy is sacred. In the way people move around you, soften around you.
You don’t announce it early. You don’t make it a spectacle. But from the moment it is known, care rushes in. You’re offered the better chair. Given the softer foods. People bring you fruits without asking. You rest more. Not because you are fragile, but because you are carrying something holy.
There is this understanding that your body is doing something profound, and that it should not have to do it alone.
As my mother said, “You’re never alone.”
Preparing the Body
A woman’s body is prepared for birth with care and intention. Not sterile or scheduled, but sensory, ritualistic.
They told me about steam baths, where you sit on a stool above burning olive bark, the smoke curling up to meet your skin, which is believed to induce labor. About massages with warm clarified butter, worked into the belly or the scalp.
There’s food, too, thick, warm drinks like agga (made from rye flour, milk, and honey) to strengthen the back. Daily walks to keep the body open. All ways of easing into the birth, and the role that follows, the role of motherhood.
During Birth: Quiet Strength & Women Holding Women
Men aren’t usually present at birth, it’s just women. The doctor, and the women.
They spoke of prayer circles. Of a house full of people. Of genfo already simmering in the kitchen while the baby was still making its way earthside. And of women, always other women, making sure you did not have to do it all alone.
There is always someone present who has done this before,
There is always someone present who has done this before, an auntie, an elder to help you steady your breath, and spare your strength. To tell you to bite the edge of a Gabi, if you must. Not to silence you, but to help you stay with yourself.
The Gabi is always nearby. Laid over the mother’s legs. Draped around her shoulders. Ready to meet the baby the moment it arrives.
And afterward, there is hot ground flaxseed with honey, made to help the placenta come, to help the body complete what it started.
The Gabi
In every story, the Gabi was there. Used to wrap newborns. Tied across a mother’s chest to carry the baby on her back when it grew a little older and stronger. Draped over a bed, often forming a curtain around the mother’s space, shielding them from the outside world. Washed with rainwater and dried in the sun.
"A child is never without a Gabi,” my aunt said.
It is not just warmth, it is memory. It absorbs tears, sweat, and lullabies.
“A child is never without a Gabi,” my aunt said.
After the Birth
After you give birth, you rest.
Forty days if it’s a boy. Eighty if it’s a girl.
You don’t cook. You don’t entertain. You don’t leave the house. You are wrapped, quite literally, in care. Family brings food, prayers, laughter, and quiet, when quiet is needed.
One of the women told me about showering in boiled olive tree leaves, a practice to cleanse, to reset the body and spirit. Others spoke of slow mornings with the baby in the first light. The window cracked open just enough for the sun to say hello.
Gabi is given, to the mother and to the child. Sometimes gold. One woman told me she received thirteen gold chains, each with its own pendant.
And when someone says, “She looks like a woman who has just given birth”?
It’s a compliment.
Coffee, Again
Coffee is never just coffee in Ethiopia. But after a baby is born, it takes on something deeper. It becomes a blessing, a thank you.
For the first time since birth, men may join in the space again.
Butter gets stirred into the coffee. Elders speak words over the child. There’s a sense of completion. A sort of collective exhale.
The ceremony also offers women a chance to share their worries and experiences,
The ceremony also offers women a chance to share their worries and experiences, typically held outside the bedroom as mothers are advised not to drink coffee. Still, it allows them to reconnect and partake in the communal ritual.
GENFO Recipe - 1 serving
And for you, here is the recipe they all mentioned:
3 small glasses of water
2 cups rye or wholegrain flour
A few scoops of clarified butter
Optional: oats, dried sage, berbere, or honey
Boil the water. Once it reaches a boil, remove 1 cup of water and stir in 1 teaspoon of salt. Slowly add the flour, stirring continuously. If you like, you can also add a cup of steel-cut oats at this point. Keep stirring until the mixture thickens into a smooth, firm, and slightly glossy paste. Melt butter into the paste and continue stirring until it reaches the consistency of chocolate paste. Spoon the mixture into a bowl and create a small well in the center. Pour in more butter, which can be infused with sage, a pinch of spice, or honey for a touch of sweetness.
Eat it Warm
It’s believed to replenish strength, warm the womb, and ground the nervous system after birth. It feels like being held.
This post is for the women who have given birth.
And the ones who will.
And the ones who hold them.
May we all have our GABI moments, and people to wrap us in them.
Love,
Ruth
Written by Ruth Ronner of GABI.